Everything is cool when you’re together, but you’re completely inexistent to other people.
Have you ever happened to be dating someone, who after months of seeing each other still hasn’t introduced you to his/her friends and family? Or maybe you’ve met some friends, but never been properly introduced? If so, then your other half is probably pocketing you!
What is pocketing?
Pocketing is when a person you are dating avoids in every way to introduce you to friends and family. He or she pulls out all the stops to keep you away from everyone else, whether it’s in person, at the phone, or on social media. It’s a bit like having a private relationship. Everything is cool when you’re together, but you’re completely inexistent to other people.
Wait, wait, wait, why would someone do this to me???
Well, being ‘pocketed’ by someone you’ve been dating for a while sucks. It’s rude and really, really suspicious! You may think that he/she isn’t truthful with you, or that is hiding you from someone in particular. Like and ex-partner, or someone who could be a potential other date… Well if that’s the case there’s clearly no reason to stay. But before you take your heels and run away, make sure this is actually the case, or you may lose someone who really likes you!
Pocketing does not necessarily equate with bad intentions. In some cases, it can happen because the person you are dating may prefer to “trade lightly” before showing you off! This can be for various reasons. Some people had bad experiences in the past, others may do it because to not rush because they want everything to perfection. Sometimes they may have too much pressure from their family’s judgments or feel worried and ashamed of their friends and family if they don’t meet your expectations.
Ok, but is this gonna work?
No matter how good the intentions are, being inexistent to friends and family for long is not going to work. So, analyse the situation and try to find a solution.
Communicate effectively. Communication is the key. And in order to do it effectively, you must do it the right way! To start, try to create a dialogue and avoid accusations or any sort of assumptions. Tell him/her what you have noticed and ask the reasoning behind it. Make it clear that there’s no judgment, but just curiosity, so that he/she will feel good about talking with you. Do it so and your partner will be an open book!
When to run away…
Communication cannot solve your issue in two cases. 1) if your partner does not change behaviour once you have introduced the issue. 2) If you realise that he/she is actually being dishonest and with bad intentions. As mentioned above, this staying in the dark from the important people in your partners’ life isn’t gonna work forever. If your partner does not make a change then is your responsibility to whether to stay or to go. However, if you chose to stay, be aware that being pocketed forever means to never really know your better half.
On the other side, if he/she is hiding you from others because has a second partner or is keeping you simply as a f*ckfriend, then we believe you already know the right thing to do!
Be aware of your relationship. Don’t be afraid of telling your words. And make sure you are in a relationship that gives you all that you deserve.
Read also: Mistakes to avoid when online dating?