Talking about infidelity when you’re in a relationship is always a bit dicey. Even more so when talking about all the tips and tricks people come up with to avoid getting caught… When you’re having fun on the side, you need to be a very creative person. Here are 10 ideas that should help you in this wild adventure.
1. Lock your screens
Whether it’s your tablet, your computer or your cell phone, never leave them open or not password-protected. Remember that one little text can completely ruin your “quiet” double love life… So always lock your screens, especially when they’re charging in your kitchen. Don’t forget to log out of whatever messaging app you’re using. Our best tip: use private navigation on your phone and computer (and make sure you close your browser when you’re finished).
2. Switch your contact names
To avoid getting caught, change what you call your “friends” on your phone. For example, Mark becomes Mary (also works the other way around). That way, if “Mary” or “Mark” calls late at night or texts you a little too much, you can always pretend they’re a new friend or co-worker.
3. Delete your conversation history
This one may seem like common sense, but after you spent so much time working on protecting your screens, it would be silly to get caught because of a couple of sexts. Never keep a chat or a conversation that could lead to a big argument with your official significant other.
4. Never get frisky at home
Your spouse won’t be home for another couple of hours and you think why not have some fun in the sheets with your “friend”? Don’t even think about it. Why not, you ask? Well if you’re a man, remember that women have a 6th sense for these things. They can feel things without even being there. Hiding your “crime” will also be a lot harder: imagine leaving hair, perfume, lipstick or any object in your bed… To avoid this kind of stress, it is better to take your fun elsewhere.
5. Always be discreet
Being discreet can be extremely tricky. However, you will have to make discretion your new best friend if you want to keep your secret life confidential. To avoid any issues, don’t brag to your mates or coworkers or anybody really about your recent achievements. You never know who can overhear you and who your friends might talk to. Same goes for calls and texts. If you lock yourself in the bathroom every time your phone rings, people will quickly get suspicious.
6. Have rock-solid alibis
Being unfaithful isn’t the easiest of jobs. You can’t always pretend like you have to work late or that you’re out with friends. The best thing to do is relying on a good friend, someone loyal (wink wink) who will have your back no matter what. You could also say that you started meditating alone. Whatever you say, keep it realistic.
7. Choose the right person
If you have no intention of ending things with your partner, don’t start a side relationship with someone who could potentially fall in love with you. That would definitely complicate your life. Remember Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction? To avoid any dramatic situation, it is best to date someone with the same kind of routine and expectations: someone in a committed relationship who is also trying to spice up their life.
8. Pay attention to detail
A hair on your jacket, lipstick on your shirt, a strange scent on your clothes, a scratch mark on your back… So many little things you need to watch out for. You must always remember to double or even triple check the way you look. Obviously never come home wearing different clothes, keep a toothbrush in your bag and take a shower if possible after you’re done with your side activities.
9. Set specific rules
If you want to keep your affair hush-hush, it is better to set up ground rules from the beginning with your lover. Don’t call each other too late, don’t text 24/7 (especially if you never text anybody else), never meet up around your home or your workplace, and make sure you’re both on the same page.
10. Too much security is suspicious
Locking your screens, deleting all your texts, limit the access to your social media accounts, etc… All of that is a great start. However, you need to keep in mind that it can also be suspicious for your spouse. Don’t bring your phone or tablet every time you use the bathroom, try not to answer all your calls outside… Try to act as natural as possible to stay under the radar !