But only if you’re 100% certain that, despite the break-up, your ex is your better half!


Despite a messy breakup that left you heart broken, are you struggling to close that book? Here are the three key steps to winning back your ex and reclaiming what you once had. Be careful though, if the relationship is doomed to fail, some things are best left in the past…

A breakup always brings suffering in a relationship, and some simply aren’t fixable. However, that doesn’t mean that hope is always lost.

Step 1: If you’re under him, you ain’t getting over him

After a break, the temptation to call or text is huge. Don’t do this. Bot of you need some space to self-reflect and learn what went wrong in the relationship. Cut off communication – don’t specifically block them on all your social media accounts (leave them a way to reach out to you), but don’t make contact or respond for about three weeks. After this time you should know what went wrong and how you can fix things up.

Silence has unsuspected virtues. It helps you to become more aware of things and to question yourself. What went wrong? How can you prevent this in the future? What was the relationship lacking? Take some time to mull these over.

Step 2: The post-dating messaging strategy

After these three weeks, you can go ahead and reach out. Keep things light hearted and don;t mention the breakup if you can help it. Don’t say “I’ve really missed you” or “When can I see you next”, instead make casual conversation. A good example is “I just saw your neighbour in town”, “Finally caught up with Game of Thrones”, or a light-hearted meme. Your aim here is to prompt them to remember sweet and happy moments from the relationship, and avoid any heavy, embarrassing conversations.

Once you’ve established contact, don’t arrange to meet up straight away! Let time heal the wounds and keep steady, simple contact throughout. If they start to message you first, that’s an excellent sign.

Step 3: Give and Take

Even if you’re back in contact, you’ve not won them back yet! Look to establish a policy of give and take. Don’t be overly mysterious nor too serious – if they want to start apologising for things they said or did then listen to them. If you’re in the wrong then only broach the topic face-to-face, and let them dictate when, and if, they want to meet up!

If you haven’t arranged to meet up after a month of reestablishing communication then the spark has probably gone. On the plus side, that means that you’re in the perfect place to look for a rebound – start by signing up to Gleeden and seeing if anyone takes your fancy!


Read also: What do you do when someone is ghosting you?