Couples jealousy can spiral out of control unless kept in check – here’s how!
Robert A. Heinlein wrote that “jealousy is a disease, love is a healthy condition”, and how true that is. A small spark of jealousy can quickly grow into unhappiness in the relationship. That’s why we’ve put together some early warning signs and solutions to help you out.
What triggers jealousy?
To find out if you are jealous of your partner, start by asking yourself about your reactions to normal events; they can say a lot about your degree of jealousy …
- Are you anxious or frustrated when your partner is away from you?
- Do you tend to start a fight over little things?
- Want to control your partner’s life, surroundings, or movements?
- When they return late at night, do you imagine unsavoury scenarios?
- Do you imagine that they might be sexually attracted to another person?
- Do you think they’re hiding details of their life from you?
- Do you go through their phone or demand to see it?
If you tick ‘yes’ to even a few of these, then you’ll have to work hard to get out of this vicious circle. Start by assessing your degree of jealousy to better fight it. This preliminary step is essential before engaging in any discussion. Often, the roots of this uncontrollable emotion are anchored much deeper than you think.
If your partner is the jealous one?
Don’t be afraid to set rules and create limits! Jealousy tends to have a snowball effect which can destroy your relationship from within. Indeed, if the situation degenerates, a simple argument can turn into tantrums, tears, or in the worst cases, physical violence.
First of all a jealous person needs to be reassured constantly. If you are the victim of your partner’s jealousy: simply formulate your expectations – a good dose of communication is essential. There is no ideal recipe for making a relationship work, but talking (and listening) is always key.
Set (together) the rules that can make your married life more harmonious. What time you expect the other home, how long they spend on their phones, anything that bugs either of you. And don’t think that you can always get your way – life is about compromise, and sometimes you have to give a little to take. Once these rules are accepted and integrated, then there is no need for your other half to use ploys, or lie.
Turn your jealousy into positive energy!
If, despite all your efforts to put things into perspective, you still can’t shake your feelings: take action! Stop wasting your energy spying on your partner and loot to other, more positive actions. Go on a date, watch a film, plan a holiday – break your couple’s routine and rekindle your romance so you have nothing to be jealous about.
Jealousy can always be difficult for any couple, however identifying it and setting out some expectations is the first step in ensuring your happiness.
Read also: Something new to explore with two partners…