{"id":7231,"date":"2020-09-19T16:23:36","date_gmt":"2020-09-19T16:23:36","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.gleeden.com\/tr\/?p=7231"},"modified":"2020-10-07T23:44:44","modified_gmt":"2020-10-07T23:44:44","slug":"cok-asklilik-nedir-ne-degildir","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blog.gleeden.com\/tr\/cok-asklilik-nedir-ne-degildir\/","title":{"rendered":"\u00c7ok a\u015fkl\u0131l\u0131k nedir ne de\u011fildir?"},"content":{"rendered":"

Romantik ili\u015fkilerimizde biriyle \u00e7iftle\u015ferek mutlu bir ya\u015fam s\u00fcrebilece\u011fimiz tavsiye edildi bize. Peki ya g\u00f6nl\u00fcm\u00fcz \u00e7ok geni\u015fse ve bizi mutlu eden birden fazla a\u015fk\u0131 ayn\u0131 anda ya\u015famaksa? Bug\u00fcn de \u00e7ok a\u015fkl\u0131l\u0131k \u00fczerine g\u00fczelleyelim istedik…
\n<\/span>
\n\u201c<\/span>G\u00f6r\u00fclmemi\u015ftir b\u00f6yle a\u015fk inan d\u00fcnyada\u2026 Ne bi\u00e7im sevgi \u00fc\u00e7 kalp<\/a> bir arada\u2026<\/span><\/i>\u201d \u015fark\u0131s\u0131 yar\u0131m as\u0131rd\u0131r dillerde\u2026 Kula\u011fa ne de uzak geliyormu\u015f o zamanlar birden fazla a\u015fk\u0131 kalbe s\u0131\u011fd\u0131rma fikri\u2026. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc romantik ili\u015fkilerin bir tek e\u015f ile ya\u015fanmas\u0131 idealize edilmi\u015f hep. Ba\u015frolde Esas Kad\u0131n ve Esas Adam vard\u0131r, yan roller ge\u00e7er ve giderler. \u0130yi ama ya yan rollerde de Esasl\u0131 Adamlar varsa? O zaman \u00e7ok a\u015fkl\u0131l\u0131k diye bir g\u00fcndemimiz oluyor i\u015fte…<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00c7ok e\u015fli olmak ya da tek e\u015flilerin sevdi\u011fi tabirle s\u00f6ylersek \u201ctek e\u015fli olmamak\u201d, birden \u00e7ok ki\u015fiyi sevmek, g\u00f6nl\u00fcne daha fazlas\u0131n\u0131 s\u0131\u011fd\u0131rmak demek. Daha da fazla a\u015fk ya\u015famak demek. Al\u0131\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z d\u00fczende bir kalp bir kalbi sever diye ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131zdan, ilk duyanlar i\u00e7in ba\u015fta \u015fa\u015f\u0131rt\u0131c\u0131, sonra ikna edici olan \u00e7ok a\u015fkl\u0131 ya\u015fama kavram\u0131, a\u00e7\u0131k evlilikler i\u00e7erisinde pekala ya\u015fanabiliyor. Bilhassa \u0130ngiltere\u2019de \u00e7ok yayg\u0131n oldu\u011fu g\u00f6r\u00fclen \u00e7ok a\u015fkl\u0131 ya\u015famlar, halen akademik d\u00fczeyde yeterince incelenmi\u015f de\u011fildir. Hayat\u0131n de\u011fi\u015fen \u015fartlar\u0131, teknoloji ile h\u0131zlanan g\u00fcnl\u00fck aktiviteler ve \u00e7e\u015fitlenen kimlikler, duygusal beklentileri de \u00e7e\u015fitlendiriyor. Ahlak bek\u00e7isi kesilip insanlar\u0131 itham etmek yerine bu komplike kavram\u0131 her t\u00fcrl\u00fc yanl\u0131\u015f anlamay\u0131 giderecek \u015fekilde incelemeye karar verdik.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u00c7ok a\u015fkl\u0131l\u0131k nedir?<\/b><\/span><\/h2>\n

En basitinden s\u00f6ylersek, \u00e7ok a\u015fkl\u0131 bir hayat, \u201c<\/span>ayn\u0131 anda birden fazla partnerle duygusal ya da cinsel beraberlik kurma<\/span><\/i>\u201d prati\u011fidir. \u00c7ok e\u015flilik ile ayn\u0131 \u015fey de\u011fildir. \u00c7ok e\u015flili\u011fin temelinde swinger ili\u015fki yani \u00e7iftler aras\u0131 beraberlik kurmak vard\u0131r. Yani kendi e\u015fiyle, ba\u015fka insanlarla e\u015fle\u015fmek vard\u0131r. Oysa \u00e7ok a\u015fkl\u0131 ki\u015finin ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131 ili\u015fkiler birbirinden apayr\u0131d\u0131r, \u00e7o\u011fu zaman (hatta hi\u00e7bir zaman) birbirlerini tan\u0131mazlar. Hayat\u0131na ayn\u0131 anda girmezler, ayn\u0131 anda \u00e7\u0131kmazlar. Baz\u0131s\u0131 hayat\u0131na hi\u00e7 girmez, hep arafta durur ama y\u0131llarca da \u00e7\u0131kmazlar \u00e7emberden. Ba\u015flad\u0131\u011f\u0131 a\u015fklar\u0131n sesini k\u0131smay\u0131 g\u00f6ze alsa da toptan bitirmeyi sevmeyenlere, birini bitirmeden yenisine ba\u015flayanlara \u00e7ok a\u015fkl\u0131 denir.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

A\u015fka \u00e2\u015f\u0131k olmak diye bir \u015fey var<\/b><\/span><\/h2>\n

Bir kere ad\u0131 \u00fcst\u00fcnde bu \u201c\u00e7ok a\u015fkl\u0131l\u0131k\u201d. Bu a\u015fkla ilgili bir\u015fey, say\u0131yla ilgili de\u011fil. Bu kelimenin asl\u0131 \u201cpolyamory\u201d, Yunanca ve Latince kar\u0131\u015f\u0131k bir kelime. \u201c\u00c7ok sevmek\u201d demek. Bir ki\u015fiyi \u00e7ok sevmek de\u011fil, \u00e7ok ki\u015fiyi sevmek anlam\u0131ndad\u0131r. A\u015fka \u00e2\u015f\u0131k olanlar\u0131n do\u011fas\u0131nda oland\u0131r. Do\u011frusu da bu de\u011fil midir? Birini \u00e7ok sevince, t\u00fcm beklentilerinizi \u00fcst\u00fcne y\u00fckleyince, onu bo\u011fmu\u015f olmuyor musunuz? Bazen insan da\u00a0<\/span>a\u015fk\u0131n\u0131 d\u00f6rt duvara s\u0131\u011fd\u0131rmak yerine g\u00fczellikler i\u00e7inde b\u00f6l\u00fc\u015ft\u00fcr\u00fcr. Hem a\u015fklar\u0131 b\u00fcy\u00fcr, hem hayat\u0131 daralmaz.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

H\u00e2l\u00e2 tam oturmad\u0131 m\u0131 kafan\u0131zda? S\u0131k\u0131nt\u0131 yok, detaya iniyoruz, netle\u015fiyor her \u015fey…<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u00c7ok a\u015fkl\u0131l\u0131k kar\u015f\u0131l\u0131kl\u0131 r\u0131za ile m\u00fcmk\u00fcn<\/b><\/span><\/h2>\n

\u00c7ok a\u015fkl\u0131 olman\u0131n ne oldu\u011funu bilmeyenlerin kafas\u0131nda ilk canlanan \u015fey e\u015fini aldatmak ve sadakatsizlik olacakt\u0131r. Oysa \u00e7ok a\u015fkl\u0131l\u0131k tamamen kar\u015f\u0131l\u0131kl\u0131 r\u0131zaya dayal\u0131d\u0131r. D\u00fcr\u00fcstl\u00fck, samimiyet ve transparanl\u0131k esast\u0131r. Herkes birbirinin durumunu bilir, sayg\u0131 g\u00f6sterir ve incitecek bir harekette bulunmaz.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

D\u00fcr\u00fcstl\u00fck ve samimiyet<\/b><\/span><\/h2>\n

\u0130nsanlar aras\u0131ndaki her t\u00fcr ili\u015fkinin sa\u011fl\u0131kl\u0131 y\u00fcr\u00fcmesi aralar\u0131ndaki ileti\u015fimin kalitesine ba\u011fl\u0131d\u0131r. Ve ileti\u015fim, \u00e7ok a\u015fkl\u0131 hayat s\u00fcrenlerin en g\u00fc\u00e7l\u00fc taraf\u0131d\u0131r! Duygular\u0131n\u0131 yans\u0131tma ve ifade etmek konusunda a\u00e7\u0131k davran\u0131rlar ve kar\u015f\u0131lar\u0131ndaki ki\u015fiyi incitecek s\u0131rlar ta\u015f\u0131mazlar. Bu sayede her t\u00fcrl\u00fc yanl\u0131\u015f anlamadan ka\u00e7\u0131nabilir ve samimiyet i\u00e7inde mutlu ili\u015fkiler ya\u015fayabilirler.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u00c7ok a\u015fkl\u0131l\u0131k ne de\u011fildir?<\/b><\/span><\/h2>\n

Art\u0131k \u00e7ok a\u015fkl\u0131 bir ili\u015fki i\u00e7inde olman\u0131n nas\u0131l bir \u015fey oldu\u011funu \u00f6\u011frendi\u011fimize g\u00f6re, \u015fimdi de nas\u0131l olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 inceleyelim ve t\u00fcm olas\u0131 yanl\u0131\u015f anlamalar\u0131 ortadan kald\u0131ral\u0131m!<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hi\u00e7 ba\u011flanm\u0131yorlar(m\u0131\u015f)<\/b><\/span><\/h2>\n

\u00c7ok a\u015fkl\u0131l\u0131k, birine ba\u011flanmaktan ka\u00e7\u0131nmak de\u011fildir. Birden \u00e7ok ki\u015fiye ba\u011flanmak demektir. Hercailerden tamamen farkl\u0131 bir kafada ya\u015farlar. Hercai olan s\u00fcrekli yeniyi arar ve yeniye kap\u0131l\u0131nca, eskiyi unutur. \u00c7ok a\u015fkl\u0131<\/a> insan i\u00e7in de ayn\u0131 i\u015ftahla yeniye kap\u0131lmak vard\u0131r da, eskiyi unutmak kesinlikle yoktur. Herkesin yeri ayr\u0131, herkes yerinde g\u00fczel\u2026 Maymun i\u015ftahl\u0131dan ne fark\u0131 var derseniz; maymunun kuca\u011f\u0131na be\u015f portakal s\u0131\u011far. Yerdeki alt\u0131nc\u0131y\u0131 alay\u0131m derken her e\u011fildi\u011finde kuca\u011f\u0131ndan birini d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcr\u00fcr. \u201cHepsini al\u0131cam<\/em>\u201d inad\u0131yla saatleri ge\u00e7er gider yorulup bay\u0131lana kadar. \u00c7ok a\u015fkl\u0131 insan kuca\u011f\u0131ndan kimseyi indirmez, b\u00f6yle bir \u015fey yok\u2026 Ne hercainin vefas\u0131zl\u0131\u011f\u0131, ne maymun i\u015ftahl\u0131n\u0131n \u201chepsi benim<\/em>\u201dcili\u011fi yoktur.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00c7ok a\u015fkl\u0131 olmak birden fazla ki\u015fiye sad\u0131k ve ba\u011fl\u0131 olmay\u0131 beraberinde getirir. Tek e\u015fli ve hi\u00e7 a\u015fkl\u0131 insanlardan daha kararl\u0131 olduklar\u0131ndan emin olabilirsiniz zira iki ayr\u0131 ba\u011fla daha da s\u0131k\u0131 ba\u011flanabilirler..<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Herkesle yat\u0131yorlar(m\u0131\u015f)<\/b><\/span><\/h2>\n

Kendini duygular\u0131 ve arzular\u0131 konusunda serbest b\u0131rakmak demek, her \u00f6n\u00fcne gelen ve her isteyenle yatacak demek de\u011fildir. \u00c7ok a\u015fkl\u0131 olmak, a\u015fk duygusuyla biri(leri)ne ba\u011flanmakla ilgilidir. Bu ba\u011flant\u0131 koptu\u011funda o ki\u015fiyle yatmaya devam etmesini gerektirecek bir sebep kalmaz.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hi\u00e7 k\u0131skanm\u0131yorlar(m\u0131\u015f)<\/b><\/span><\/h2>\n

\u0130ki \u00e7ok a\u015fkl\u0131 insan birbirinin ayn\u0131 anda birden fazla ili\u015fkide bulunmas\u0131na m\u00fcsaade ediyor demek, hi\u00e7 de k\u0131skanm\u0131yorlar demek de\u011fildir. Bu bizi yukar\u0131da bahsedilen kar\u015f\u0131l\u0131kl\u0131 r\u0131za kavram\u0131na geri g\u00f6t\u00fcr\u00fcr. Partnerler, ili\u015fkileri i\u00e7in temel kurallar\u0131 belirlememi\u015f iseler, birbirlerine kar\u015f\u0131 kar\u015f\u0131 k\u0131skan\u00e7l\u0131k ve k\u0131zg\u0131nl\u0131k hissetmek ger\u00e7ekten kolay hale gelir. Bu nedenle, herkesin mutlu olaca\u011f\u0131 bir hayat\u0131 denge i\u00e7inde tutabilmek i\u00e7in, birbirlerinin hayatlar\u0131 i\u00e7indeki rollerini net bir \u015fekilde tan\u0131mlamak ve sayg\u0131da kusur etmemek gerekir.<\/span><\/p>\n

S\u00f6z\u00fc toplamak gerekirse, baz\u0131 insanlar\u0131n sevdalar\u0131 bitmez, \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc bitmesi i\u00e7in sebep olmaz. Ve o s\u00fcrerken ba\u015fka sevdalara da dalabilir. Kimse kimseyi yarg\u0131lamaz, kimse kimseye g\u00f6n\u00fcl koymaz. G\u00f6n\u00fcller b\u00fcy\u00fcr, a\u015fklar katlan\u0131r. Nas\u0131lsa g\u00fcn gelir herkesin r\u00fczg\u00e2r\u0131 diner, o zaman da elinizde kahve balkonda uzaklara dalar dalar \u201c<\/span>Benden selam s\u00f6yleyin b\u00fct\u00fcn a\u015fklar\u0131ma<\/span><\/i><\/a>\u201d \u015fark\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 dinler eskileri yad edersiniz.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Romantik ili\u015fkilerimizde biriyle \u00e7iftle\u015ferek mutlu bir ya\u015fam s\u00fcrebilece\u011fimiz tavsiye edildi bize. Peki ya g\u00f6nl\u00fcm\u00fcz \u00e7ok geni\u015fse ve bizi mutlu eden birden fazla a\u015fk\u0131 ayn\u0131 anda ya\u015famaksa? Bug\u00fcn de \u00e7ok a\u015fkl\u0131l\u0131k \u00fczerine g\u00fczelleyelim istedik… \u201cG\u00f6r\u00fclmemi\u015ftir b\u00f6yle a\u015fk inan d\u00fcnyada\u2026 Ne bi\u00e7im…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":8,"featured_media":7268,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"twitterCardType":"summary_large_image","cardImageID":0,"cardImage":"","cardTitle":"","cardDesc":"","cardImageAlt":"","cardPlayer":"","cardPlayerWidth":0,"cardPlayerHeight":0,"cardPlayerStream":"","cardPlayerCodec":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[19,12,10],"tags":[638,639,640,414],"yoast_head":"\n\u00c7ok a\u015fkl\u0131l\u0131k nedir ne de\u011fildir? - Gleeden<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Ya g\u00f6nl\u00fcm\u00fcz \u00e7ok geni\u015fse ve bizi mutlu eden birden fazla a\u015fk\u0131 ayn\u0131 anda ya\u015famaksa? \u00c7ok a\u015fkl\u0131l\u0131k nedir ne de\u011fildir anlatal\u0131m bug\u00fcn.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/blog.gleeden.com\/tr\/cok-asklilik-nedir-ne-degildir\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"tr_TR\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"\u00c7ok a\u015fkl\u0131l\u0131k nedir ne de\u011fildir? 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